By Dr. Joan Flora, PCC
Imagine you’re in a team meeting. Everyone is discussing next steps, but one colleague sits back, arms crossed, saying nothing. Afterward, you can’t stop replaying it: “Are they angry at me? Do they not respect my leadership?”
The anxiety builds. The story in your head grows louder.
But then you pause and name it: “I feel insecure. I feel uncertain.”
In that moment, the spiral shifts. Instead of projecting assumptions, you choose curiosity: “Hey, I noticed you were quiet in the meeting. What was on your mind?”
This simple act, naming the feeling, can completely change how you respond. And science explains why.
Why Naming Works in the Short Term
At UCLA, researcher Matthew Lieberman asked people to label emotions on faces they saw. When they did, the amygdala, the part of the brain that detects threat, calmed down. At the same time, the prefrontal cortex, the part involved in planning and decision-making, became more active.
This shift matters. When you name an emotion, you give yourself a pause. Instead of reacting to the alarm in your body, you create space to choose your next move.
Why Naming Works in the Long Term
Psychologist Lisa Feldman Barrett takes the idea further. She’s shown that naming emotions doesn’t just quiet the brain’s alarm system, it actually reshapes how you experience emotions in the future.
Your brain is always predicting what sensations mean. A racing heart could mean panic or it could mean excitement. The word you give it changes the meaning.
With practice, building a more precise vocabulary, “insecure” instead of just “bad,” helps you respond more effectively. This is what researchers call emotional granularity. And it’s a key predictor of resilience.
What the Evidence Suggests
So which is right? Lieberman’s “quiet the amygdala” or Barrett’s “refine the categories”?
The evidence suggests both:
- Short-term: Naming calms reactivity and buys space for choice.
- Long-term: Naming sharpens emotional categories, making future experiences easier to handle.
That’s why “Name it to Tame it” is such a powerful first response.
How to Use It
The next time emotions surge, try this three-step process:
- Pause. Notice what’s happening in your body.
- Name. Say to yourself: “I feel anxious,” “I feel defensive,” “I feel uncertain.”
- Choose. Let that pause guide your next action with intention instead of reaction.
The Takeaway
In that meeting with your silent colleague, naming your insecurity created a shift. Instead of letting your fear drive assumptions, you opened the door to dialogue.
That’s the hidden power of Name it to Tame it. It works instantly by calming the body’s alarm system. And it strengthens resilience by helping you see emotions with greater clarity over time.
The next time you feel hijacked by emotion in a meeting, at home, or in your thinking, try three words:
“I feel ____.”
Once named, emotions become manageable. And that pause might be the difference between spiraling and leading with clarity.
